幼稚園

If only I was 2 years old again....things were so much easier then.

還記得那一天　在那一天　初次上學堂從前渡每分鐘　身邊也有　父母在旁終於天與地　需要獨自往　兩手必需放但我不想放　邊哭泣邊回望

然後到這一天　在這一天　走出世界早告別學堂　人大了我應當　一早慣了　沒有護航偏偏很幼稚　一有壞狀況　就會想歸去父母親的堡壘　不管麻煩事幹

＊不要走　大鐘即使敲響　你別放開手　成年後　什麼都不可再　有成人遷就　不要走　前去在人群內　會磨鍊到夠　可見將來　日子總會有　順逆流　不過此時　獲得的愛顧　無私愛顧　未夠＊

凡事也要小心　沒趣得很　請不要再迫我做大人　年月卻太很狠心　催促上課　學會獨行幾千噸責任　冰冷像校訓　個鐘0的塔跳課室鐘聲響了　雙手為何在震

My twin..

At least I still have you... even if you are millions of miles away.

Love

Paulo Coelho introduced the idea that how one judges love is by how much one sacrifices for another. In the economic sense, the opportunity cost for which one forgoes something for another. He also said that we cannot blame others for what we feel, that we are responsible for how we feel, whether we decide it is a result of someone else's actions or our own.

In the new movie 'The Last Kiss' echoes this idea when the father in law says to the cheating asshole that the person you love judges how much you love them by your actions and not your words.

I have not felt love for the past one and a half months...

Love

Since yesterday was Valentines Day, here is one passage which really caught my eye recently.

All my life, I thought of love as some kind of voluntary enslavement. Well, that’s a lie: freedom only exist when love is present. The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest is the person who loves most wholeheartedly.

And the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free.

That is why, regardless of what I might experience, do or learn, nothing makes sense. I hope this time passes quickly so that I can resume my search for myself – the form of a man who understands me and does not make me suffer.

But what am I saying? In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we fell.

It hurt when I lost each of the various men I fell in love with. Now, though, I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone.

That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.

Extract from 'Eleven Minutes' by Paulo Coelho

Last day in Rotterdam

Only last month was I obsessively trying to pack all my stuff into my luggage. All my stuff, thanks to my obsessive shopping addiction was laying everywhere around Claudia's room. As usual, Claudia was always there to lend me a hand when I needed. She helped me take my two huge boxes of stuff to the post office which was really too far away when you are trying to carry a box about 10kg each. Then she left to get her new key because she accidentally dropped it down the elevator. After doing lots of weighing and taking out stuff and re-weighing, I finally got both boxes to be just under 10kg each. Shipped them off and still waiting for them to come actually. All my postcards, shoes and clothes.

Then off to uni one last time. To get my transcript so that I can graduate ontime with my friends in Australia. Through Stadhuis, Beurs, Blaak, Cube Houses, Concordia on the tram I went one last time. I was lucky, the weather that day was beautiful. It was sunny and hardly windy, which is very much unlike the norm in Rotterdam. I collected my transcript, said goodbye to the ladies at the International Office, then went to T-building one last time to print off my boarding pass. My twin Claudia then messaged me asking me where I was because we were going to go the supermarket together to buy food for the dinner party that she was throwing for me as my farewell party. I told her that I wanted to go to C-building to see if I could buy a Erasmus jumper. Hoping that it would still be open, I went to C-building but no such luck. It closed at 4pm, just missed it by 10 minutes. Then off to the tram.. one last time on the tram. Last time running like hell for the tram. As usual, it was just about to turn and then arrive at the uni tram stop. And just when I got on the tram, getting my breathe back, and deep in sorrow and thought that it was my last night at Rotterdam, my twin calls out to me on the tram. We ended up catching the same tram!

Then off to close my bank account. Last time I was going to have to deal with the stupidest and most useless bank ever. It was obvious that there were not many people for option B but somehow, there were meant to be like 30 people in front of me. So I waited patiently with Claudia for my number to come up. Then, I realised that anyone was just going up to the counter cos they saw no one around. Finally, I got to the counter, closed my bank account and thinking that I could just get my cash out from that same lady, she told me I had to get a ticket from option C to get my cash. Yes, Dutch bureacracy... Then off to Swarvoski to get a necklace for my brother's girlfriend. No such luck, it was sold out. One last place to try - De Bjienkorf for the Swarvoski necklace. This department store is basically the same as David Jones. That necklace was meant to be his and my necklace was meant to be mine. The last ones...

Then the supermarket, Albert Heijn, one last time. On the very first day, that was what I did with Claudia cos I knew she would need various things and we were going back together one last time. The one thing we had in common was definitely shopping and the fact that we were both picky with everything, food, clothes. She would only eat a certain quality of Olive oil and I would only eat good quality dark chocolate. So, after grocery shopping, back to my mess for me.

While I was doing laundry and packing, my friend Benni called me asking what I was doing that night. I said that he was coming over for dinner just as Claudia had told him the night before when he came to drop off my skincare products. I was very excited to see all my friends one last time.

It was suddenly 8pm and everyone started to arrive.. Arjan, Benni, Daniela, Elenora and finally Aki a bit later. Elenora and Daniela are Claudia's Italian friends. It's funny how I had heard so much about Elenora but it was the first time that I was meeting her even though it was my last night in Rotterdam. Again, my twin made great pasta! She has trained me so well that pasta which is not semi-hard is just overcooked now. The dynamics was interesting, and at times, it was difficult to get conversation going because no one really knew each other. Topics such as my obsession with shopping and religion came up. This is what I love about talking to International students, you never know what you will discuss but I always know I would enjoy their company. 10pm came before I knew it and Daniela and Elenora had to go. Arjan left soon afterwards. Then 11.30pm came and Benni and Aki had to leave just because of the stupid last tram at 12pm.

Then back to packing for me and my lovely Claudia cleaned up. I really wanted to clean up with her because that's what we always did together. We always cleaned up together after the Tuesday night dinners although at times, the boys - Michael, Jussi and Arjan would be absolutely wonderful and clean up all the dishes for us. Finally, I finished packing and Claudia and I talked like we always did. We could talk about anything and we talked till we were really tired and were about to fall asleep.

Aki, me & Benni (my friends from Dutch class)

Me & Arjan

The Dutch member of the Tuesday night dinner. Poor guy, I keep on complaining about all the annoying Dutch things that I hated. The weather, the bureacracy.

MY TWIN CLAUDIA in her room!

Notice how it's very pink! Funny how her favourite colour is hot pink and mine is purple.

Our conversations over tea in our kitchen! We would always have tea at about 1-2am and talk for endless periods of time.

Words cannot express how much I miss Europe and my friends there. It is amazing how in such a short period of time, I was able to really create a family in Rotterdam. I hated the place because 'everything was destroyed in WWII'. It was so much more cosmopolitan than the rest of Europe. But I loved all my friends there. Every minute of the day, I wish I was back there with my twin, cooking together, cleaning together and having our endless talks at ungodly hours of the night (our usual bedtimes were 2 or 3am) This became significantly later when my other room mate Detti came because that girl just never sleeps!

I always thought culture was the reason why I had close to none non-Asian friends. Now I know that culture was just an excuse. Culture is beautiful because it makes us all unique in our own different ways but culture only defines certain parts of us, not all of us. I was able to meet people who were so much more similiar to me in Europe from all different cultures than any Asian person that I have met. I miss you guys!

Last month...

I have about one month left for my exchange. Time has definitely flied. I know I have completely sucked at updating this blog...but I have been really busy. Just back from my trip to London/Switzerland and Prague with Tina where the highlight was skydiving over the Swiss Alps! We were pretty lucky because there was a snow storm the day before and not only did we get freshly laid snow, we got to go skydiving! All I can say is not only is it such an adrenalin rush, it's just an unforgettable experience when you are jumping out of an airplane 4000 feet above ground and screaming your head off!

Exchange has been a wonderful experience. I have met amazing and hopefuly even life-long friends here. I wish it could last forever but I know that reality awaits for me in Australia. I have learnt a lot, from my travels, from my stay in Rotterdam (which everyone is complaining about it been not enough...apparently, I'm going to win the biggest traveller award) and just from the big variety of people that I have met. My English is probably worse and don't even mention my Cantonese. But it was all worth it.

Now I should stop procrastinating and continue studying....

Still alive....

Yeah, I know I haven't blogged for a long time. It's only because I've been seriously busy. Basically all I do is travel, then come back and do uni work, then plan for my next trip. My room mate is complaining that she doesn't see me enough and that it's like as if I'm a ghost.

Well, so basically, here are the cities I've been to so far:

1) The Hague
2) Brussels
3) Paris (so overrated)
4) Munich (Oktoberfest!)
5) Normandy - all the D-day beaches
6) Berlin/Dresden/Wolfsburg (Volkswagen museum)
7) Lyon/Nice/Monaco/Grasse/Cannes
8) Stuttgart (Legoland)

So you guys can pick as to which photos you want to see because it definitely takes way too long to upload all of them and just takes too much effort! You may have noticed that I haven't even gone travelling in Amsterdam yet. Yes, I know, it's just that Holland sort of feels like Australia now in that, I don't feel the need to travel because I have all the time in the world but then I know I don't, so I have definitely put Holland on the map and it shall be done soon!

Apart from that, uni has been pretty hectic. The Dutch are quite hard working and seriously, before, it was like everyday at uni, if not in class, then I would be in the cafeteria doing groupwork. Quite sad really. But that's how the Dutch are! I keep on telling everyone that if you wanted a really bludgy experience, they should come to Australia! Hahaha.

Well, I can't believe I only have 2 months left. I wish I could stay here longer because I'm learning a lot from all my experiences. But I definitely miss everyone back home and wish they were with me when I was travelling.

Until the next post, take care everyone!

Still alive and driving in the Netherlands

Okay, I know I have been slightly lazy in updatting this blog. But I seriously have been busy. I wanted to update with pretty photos of Brussels, the integration trip, Paris, random parties and Munich. But just to prove I'm not dead, I'll update it with my last night's trip.

Last night, my friend tempted with the idea of driving in Rotterdam... and so I took the offer! Hahaha.. I ended up driving all the way to Gouda at night! Okay, Gouda is another city, but it's like going from my house to North Sydney, so not far at all, it's only 15 kms from Rotterdam. Anyway, driving in a Mercedes ML is really fun! It's sorta like accelerating in my Vienta where the car just goes... anyway.. now I really miss my car.

My next mission: Drive on the Autobahn... hehehee... seeing my friend drive on the autobahn in Germany and not been able to drive was just so excruciating! But I shall learn to drive a manual.

Anyway, off to France tomorrow. Will try to update my blog with many photos asap. Otherwise, those that have facebook, just add me and see photos from Munich: z3099174@student.unsw.edu.au

Later pplz!

Brussels! August 26 - 28

It's been 3 days of mussels, waffles, chocolate, beer, art, comics and truly beautiful buildings. I can't believe that only after 2 hours, I could be in a completely different country experiencing another side of Europe. I loved Brussels (somehow I think I will love every country in Europe but anyway) and together with the French, chocolate, good food, very friendly people and of course the architecture, I think if I was to live in Europe, I would really consider Brussels over Netherlands.

Brussels with Aki, Montse, Nate, Rene, Ariel, Espen, JT, Zeeshan and Benni

Day 1 - Saturday August 26th
10.24 - Board the train. Just made it because travelling in groups suck and some people are quite lost. End up having to stand for part of the journey!
12.30 - Arrive in Brussels Centraal
1.00 - Arrive in Hotel. Good on Montse for leading us to the hotel even though we were all highly doubting her ability to do so.
1.30 - Leave the hotel for food.
1.30 - 4 - Lunch! This is only because our food came at like 3pm (the other table got it first)
4 - 7.30 - The Cathedral of Saints Michel and Gudule, The Congress Column, Grand Place, waffles, planning the next few days and shoes!
7.30 - 1 - Dinner and drinks

Day 2 - Sunday August 27th
7.30 - Get up
8.30 - Breakfast
9.00 - 10.00 - Royal Palace, BOZAR (Centre of Fine Arts), Royal Museum of Art, The Church of Saint Jacquessur Coudenberg, Sablon square, Palace of Charles of Lorraine and surrounding areas.
10.00 - 12.00 - Musical Instruments Museum
12.00 - 1.00 - BOZAR - two photography exhibitions - 'Double Click' and 'In the picture'
1.00 - 2.15 - Lunch with Aki
2.15 - 3 - Royal Palace
3 - 4 - Museum of Cocao and chocolate
4 - 6 - Comic Strip Museum
6 - 9 - Nothing >.< My camera ran out of batteries so I couldn't do the Comic strip walk. So all I ended up doing was taking Aki back to the hotel, finding the other people, then walking back to the hotel. Such a waste of time!
9 - 1 - Dinner

Day 3 - Monday August 28th
7.00 - Get up
8.00 - 9.00 - Breakfast at Central Station
9.00 - 10.30 - European Parliament and surrounding areas
10.30 - 1.00 - Parc du Cinquantenaire and Manneken Pis
1.00 - 2.00 - Beer and Brewery Museum
2.00 - 3.00 - Costume and Lace Museum
3.00 - 4.00 - Grand Place and surrounding area one last time, and eating a waffle on the street with a tiny little fork. I don't think I have ever had so much difficulty.
4.00 - 8.00 - Comic Strip walk with shopping in the middle and then the walk had to end because of stupid rain and because I was hard dead by then. Palais de Justice & Area around Louise.
8.00 - 8.50 - Getting my luggage from the hotel and running like anything for the train.
8.50 - On board the train back to Rotterdam!
10.40 - Home and sleep!!! zzz....

A better summary later, this is just for my memory for now since I won't have time to upload photos and talk more about Brussels until I come back from the Intergration Trip. I only wish the weather was better. It was raining most of the time and so this is not only bad for sightseeing and a lot of photos just came out dark.

Intensive Dutch Course August 8-25

So after 3 weeks of making weird throat sounds, I have finally finished this Intensive Dutch course. I would say it was pretty intensive, there was so much we learnt each day but as everyone knows, I'm a crammer, so it was only the last week that my Dutch was up to scratch. Anyway, I would say I passed with flying colours! Hehehe, I passed with a Distinction. Even my oral was a distinction, what a joke! But we got to write out a script and perform it so in that sense, it really wasn't too hard. If there was a listening test, I would die. However, Dutch is easier to listen than French as they really do pronounce every single syllable of the word.

So goodbye to days of getting up at 8am to get to class by 9.30, having interesting but slightly weird conversation with my teacher Govert and generally, just struggling really badly in class and been super sleepy as usual.

Proost to Govert and the two most diligent students, Michael and Espen who are now conversing in Dutch and making everyone else in the class look bad.

Beer Brewery 'Bierbrouwerij de Pelgrim' & Delfshaven August 22

As part of the Intensive Dutch Course, we went on an excursion to the beer brewery at Delfshaven. The tour, was meant to be given in English but instead of given in Dutch because the English dude was away or something? So I didn't understand anything at all and just stood there trying out different beers and trying to get rid of the smell of the strong strong cheese that I had at the beginning of the tour. Why did I try the cheese when I don't even like cheese!

These things are used to make beer, where all the ingredients of the beer come together. Don't know what they're called. This brewery is actually still producing and these things behind are quite new! Made of stainless steel.

This is where all the beers ferment and they have all these systems to test whether the beer is ready! But then of course the way they like to test it is by tasting it!

The Machine used to bottle the beer

And the class enjoying a beer!

(Me, Kenneth, Rene, JT, Govert (teacher), Zeeshan, Aki, Chris, Michael, Nate, Montse & Espen)

The one I'm holding, called a triple is a pretty good beer!

One thing I did learn on that day, was that the Mayflower either set sail from Delfshaven or passed through it or something. I don't know much about American history, but it's something to do with the Mayflower was like the ship that carried the first set of people to America? Anyway, so at least something came out of that excursion!